What does it mean to be a great teacher? Of course credentials, knowledge, critical thinking, and all other faculties of intelligence are important. However, a great teacher should be much more than credentials, experience and intelligence.

What lies in the heart of a great teacher?

You are kind: a great teacher shows kindness to students, colleagues, parents and those around her/him. My favorite saying is “kindness makes the world go around”. It truly changes the environment in the classroom and school. Being a kind teacher helps students feel welcomed, cared for and loved.

You are compassionate: Teaching is a very humanistic profession, and compassion is the utmost feeling of understanding, and showing others you are concerned about them. A compassionate teacher models that characteristic to the students with her/his actions, and as a result students will be more open to understanding the world around them.

You are empathetic: Empathy is such an important trait to have and to try to develop in ourselves and our students. Being able to put yourself in someone’s shoes and see things from their perspective can have such a powerful impact on our decisions and actions.

You are positive: Being a positive person, is not an easy task. Being a positive teacher is even harder when we’re always met with problems with very limited solutions. However, staying positive when it’s tough can have such a tremendous positive impact on the students and everyone around us. Looking on the bright side always seems to help make things better.

You are a builder: A great teacher bridges gaps and builds relationships, friendships, and a community. Teachers always look to make things better and improve things in and outside of the classroom. Building a community is something a great teacher seeks to do in the classroom and extends that to the entire school and its community.

You inspire: Everyone looks at a great teacher and they want to be a better teacher, they want to be a better student, even better, they want to be a better person. A great teacher uncovers hidden treasures, possibilities and magic right before everyone’s eyes.

While technology has made it more convenient to keep in touch with the outside world, and even become re-acquainted with long-lost friends, it has also changed how we define relationships. Someone with 1,000 Facebook friends may think they’re a rock star. But, how many of those “friends” would be there to support them when they start a business or go through a personal crisis?

The more successful you are at relationships with your family, friends and customers; the more successful you will be in life with all of them.

Because of the hustle and bustle of the 21st century, it’s even more important than ever to have these meaningful types of relationships. Want to know how to achieve that? Follow these 25 tips.

[box type=”shadow” align=”aligncenter” ]

1. Be happy with yourself.

You may have heard this one before, and there is a reason for that – it remains the best place to start. As Michelle Maros so elegantly puts it in, Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, “Your relationships outside will flounder if you don’t have unconditional love and compassion for yourself.”

2. Learn to listen and understand.

Throughout your life you’ve probably dealt with this problem. Your parents never listened. Your spouse never listens. Your boss just doesn’t understand, or listen. George P.H. notes in, Pick The Brain, that we can connect with people simply by listening to them, hearing them out without interruption, and doing our best to understand where they’re coming from.

3. Take the punch.

You can’t always take things personally. We all have bad days where we freak out, vent, or scream at those around us. My wife Kristy Rampton always tells me “There are few things in life less selfless than taking a punch every now and then from people who are having a bad day. Sometimes people just need to vent.” Get amnesia concerning the outbursts of others.

4. Follow-up.

If you feel like you’ve hit it off with someone, professionally or personally, don’t wait for them to get in touch with you. If you believe that there’s potential for a new relationship, then make sure that you follow-up. Keith Ferrazzi, author of “Never Eat Alone,” suggests that you should follow-up within 48 hours of the first meeting.

5. Be positive.

Here’s a quick question. Would you rather spend time with someone who is a downer or someone who is upbeat? Barbara Fredrickson, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina, backs up the obvious by stating, in Psychology Today, that positive emotions help us “broaden and build” relationships.

6. Grab lunch.

We’re all busy, but are you too busy to stop and eat? Probably not. Relationship expert Nate Bagley from Loveumentary believes that you should “make the time” to schedule a lunch with friend, acquaintance or family member. This action will yield great benefits.

7. Don’t be someone else.

Adrian Savage wrote in, LifeHack: “If you can’t trust yourself, why should others trust you?”

8. Take inventory of the relationships you have.

Some relationships are meant to be last for a long time. Other relationships may just linger because it’s familiar and feels safe. Take an inventory of the relationships and see which ones you would like to hang onto and the ones you can let go. Letting go of unnecessary relationships opens up the opportunity to let new relationships into your life.

9. Pick up the phone.

Texts, email and Facebook comments are great every now and then, but there’s nothing like having an actual conversation with someone. Don’t hesitate to pick-up the phone and give your friend or peer a call to check-in and see how they’re doing. It is a good idea to be respectful of the other person’s time. The actual conversation does not have to be lengthy. Take the time to pick up the phone or Skype chat that friend. It’ll go a long ways to maintaining and fostering strong relationships.

10. Find common interests.

It could be the same sports team, band, movie, job or extreme sport. No matter how big or small, finding a common interest is one of the best ways to establish a meaningful relationship.

11. Pay it forward.

You should want to give others something because you want to. Not because you have to. If you know someone who happens to be a great web-designer and you have another acquaintance who is need of a designer, then why not introduce them to each other? Did you run across an unusual shot glass that would fit in your friend’s collection? Could you quickly purchase it?

12. Don’t wait to be asked for help.

If you know that a colleague, friend or family member needs some sort of help, then jump in and offer your assistance before they ask. For example, if you know that they’re moving and you have the time, you can offer to help, even if your body will hate it the next day.

13. Learn to trust others.

Even if you were hurt by someone in the past, either professionally or personally, you have to learn to trust again. As George P.H. so bluntly puts it “ALL relationships – family, business, platonic – require trust.”

14. Be clear on what you want.

None of us like feeling disappointed. But, did you ever stop and think that maybe you didn’t get your needs filled because you didn’t specify what you really wanted? Even if it seems uncomfortable, always be honest in what you want or need.

15. Understand what’s really being asked.

Here’s another piece of advice from Steve Boyer. He suggests that “people will always ask different questions than the one they really want to be answered.” For example, an “employees typically ask how to be more successful when all they really want is to get a raise or promotion.” In other words, there a larger question waiting to be answered behind that initial question.

16. Respond quickly.

While you don’t have access to your phone or computer 24/7, there’s a good probability that you will at some point sooner than later. If someone emails or texts you a question or inquiry, respond to them ASAP. Wouldn’t you rather be known as the speedy responder than the person who never gets back?

17. Set calendar reminders.

We’re all busy bees, so it’s easy to lose contact with friends, colleagues, family members and acquaintances. To avoid a problem, use a set-up calendar reminder so that you can schedule a time to touch base with the people in life.

18. Identify and avoid interpersonal pitfalls.

There are plenty of qualities that can be detrimental to a relationship. The Counseling Center at the University of Texas lists the following:

• Having unrealistic expectations of yourself, the other person, or the relationship in general.
• Coming too close too soon, physically or psychologically.
• Being negative about self, the relationship or life.
• Being a rescuer, a martyr, a savior or a “perfect” person.
• Trying to change the other person to suit your needs.
• Being too self-centered, judgmental or always “right”.
• Stockpiling strong feelings – anger, pain, sadness, neediness – and then pouring them all out at once.
• Expecting the other person to be a mind reader, a fixer or always a rock of stability for you.

If you notice any of these tendencies in yourself, think about trying to change them. You may even need to get help from someone you trust so that you can avoid the inclination from going any further.

19. Don’t be judgmental.

Just because someone acts a certain way, behaves in ways we wouldn’t allow ourselves to or has differing opinions, it doesn’t mean that they’re beneath you, or less than you. Instead of passing judgment, why not ask them questions to find out why they have those opinions and interests. Besides learning something new, you may discover that you’re not that different after all.

20. Pick your locations and activities wisely.

Heading out to the bar to meet new friends sounds great in theory, maybe. But, you’ll most likely develop bar buddies. Are those really the people you can seriously rely on? While there’s nothing wrong with have acquaintances, try to spend time in places where there will be people with similar interests. If you’re into books, for example, then why not join a book club?

21. Be patient.

Building and maintaining a relationship takes time. During that time, you’re going to need patience to help cope with the daily frustrations of life. If you don’t have the patience to deal with life’s little aggravations, then how can you expect to have a durable relationship?

22. Make eye contact.

Research has long proven that “people who make eye contact are perceived as more, “likable and trustworthy.” Dr. Atsushi Senju tells the New York Times that, “A richer mode of communication is possible right after making eye contact.”

23. Don’t mumble.

Communication is a big part of relationships. So, why would you want to make conversations awkward or confusing because you can’t be understood? In case you weren’t aware, mumbling is also a “sign of covert anger, resentment, disrespect, or sadness.”

24. Laugh.

In case you weren’t aware, laughter is extremely contagious. Besides being beneficial for your overall health, it can also “strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection.” Also, take an opportunity to laugh at yourself sometime.

25. Let it go.

Pick your battles wisely. Even if you disagree with someone or have the need to tell them “I told you so,” it’s best to move on and let it go. No one wants to hear a lecture.

[/box]

If you’ve ever been involved with sales, then you know that it’s not for the faint of heart. Whether it’s selling a pair of sneakers at a store, a new heating system to homeowners or pitching a startup to investors, making that sale depends on the appearance, knowledge and enthusiasm of the salesperson. Quite frankly, not all of us have those characteristics in us. There is a saying that salesmen are born, not taught. Well, not exactly. Undoubtedly, there is natural talent, but can you can learn these characteristics and be just as successful? Yes!

A true salesperson has the following characteristics that they use consistently to succeed in making those important sales.

1. Conscientiousness  

In 1993, the American Psychological Association published a report that found the most successful sales reps were “conscientious.” This trait is found in people who take great pride in their work, are organized and efficient. But, if you are not organized and efficient, you can learn to be. Conscientious also means you keep going in your job, no matter what.

2. Respectful

Founder of Searchmetrics, Marcus Tober, states that “our top sales reps respect our customers’ time above all else. You have to make sure that your customers and potential customers are treated like gold.” Part of doing this is making sure that they have time and you schedule time for work. People want the bottom line. Old tactics don’t work. People are busy, respect their time above all.

3. Initiative

Sales reps don’t wait for orders. They’re go-getters and take matters into their own hands. Being disciplined like this helps salesmen to stay on track. If something has to be sold, there is a way to do it. The salesman will do what it takes to sell the product. Learn to like the product better, compliment where appropriate (even if they hate it at first), learn how to mirror to connect and then actually care about the connection.

4. They listen

American Express’ OPEN Forum says that the best sales people ask their clients and customers “why they want something done.” When you listen to your clients/customers, you find out what they want and need, and how to make that happen. If you don’t know exactly how to make happen what your client has asked for, be absolutely sure that there is a way. You just haven’t found it, yet.

5. Persistent

You have to have thick-skin to be a salesperson. Why? Because you’re going to become very familiar with the word “no.” You have to be confident and persistent if you want to remain involved with sales. The public is done with the hard sell. However, the average person is not done with extreme kindness, even if you are irritating. “Hello, yes, I’m calling you back because I know you didn’t mean to hang up on me.”

6. Coachable

According to Mark Roberge from HubSpot, experience isn’t nearly as important as coachability for predicting successful reps. Being energetic, willing to learn and having the ability to adapt are all a part of being “coachable.” Coachable means an early adopter of the suggestion. If you are asked to do things in a certain way, do it that way, even if it’s something you have always done a different way. Brainstorm in your one-on-one with you coach.

7. Positive

Who would you rather make a purchase from? The upbeat go-getter or the depressed downer? Having a positive attitude and being cheerful makes it easier to approach customers and keep their attention until after you’ve made the sale. This positive attitude exudes from a person. If you’ve got a really bad scene going on at home, stuff it! I mean, stuff it! Learn to compartmentalize the aspects of your life. Your work life is positive. Try some psychology, smile, jump up and down, breathe, do what you have to to be positive.

8. Resourceful

The true salesman is able to shift gears if a sale isn’t going the way that they envisioned. Instead of just taking “no” as an answer, they will attempt a different approach by using their creativity and imagination. Remember though, you have to make it snappy and switch quickly. Learn to read faces. If your approach has not worked within two minutes, change. Have your twists and turns ready. If you have to practice them at home so that you are natural.

9. Passionate

A top-notch salesperson actually enjoys their job. If you hate it, change or get out. Most importantly, the salesman will be passionate about the products or services that they’re selling. If they’re on board with a brand’ message, they can excitedly share that vision with prospective clients and customers. Happy, positive, love it, passionate.

10. Ask questions

Searcy states that there is data that has discovered “that the higher-performing sales representatives ask more questions–often more than twice as many.” But, these salespeople don’t ask questions that focus solely on data. They want to know what the implications are. I have personally found that the questions I ask are not about the product. The client got what you are selling your first time around. Don’t drone on. This client has something to say. What is it? They have a Zen garden at home? You learn to love the Zen garden quickly and ask more.

11. Independent

Since most salespeople work on a commission, they have to be independent and will take the correct measures in making this a reality. The boss doesn’t have to be there to make sure the work gets done. The salesman is a self-motivator. The independent salesperson can build themselves up to do more. They can pat themselves on the back and appreciate their own greatness. Most independent salespeople do not have to be thanked for each call or sales, they know how to say, “Good job, me!”

12. Time managers

Here’s a simple equation: more selling time increases sales and compensation. The best salespeople manage their time effectively, such as finding the best routes from location to location, so that they have more opportunities and time to spend securing a sale. If one place or person takes too long, or longer than expected, the time manager makes up for it somewhere else.

13. Overachieve

Author and sales expert Grant Cardone informed OPEN FORUM that salespeople should “over commit and over-deliver.” You have to go above and beyond. True salespeople don’t know when to stop and typically are pushing for more. More people, more clients, more work, more money… just more. The quality more.

14. Personable

A great salesperson has no problem getting along with others. And, most importantly, they enjoy meeting new people and realize the power of networking. It’s not surprising to see salespeople involved with so many local events and organizations. Most sales people love people, and it shows. They are energized by people. They go home and can hardly sleep after an event.

15. Alertness

Salespeople are always prepared. They have to be ready for any situation that they’re thrown into and know how to successfully break free. The salesperson is aware of herself and her body. If she is not alert, she has felt it coming on and taken care of it. Caffeine up, run up and down the block or eat less, they do whatever it takes. Alertness is key to so many of the principles of being a great salesperson.